It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
