First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
