Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
