Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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