Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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