So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
