Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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