So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Everclear isn't food dammit
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
