I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
