How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
