one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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