You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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