Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
