Dual....:-)
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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