sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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