you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
