He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
that is very illegal...i love you.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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