how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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