think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
