Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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