I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Randomize
