i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
