I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize