take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
All the doctor said was why
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
