OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
