Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize