Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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