awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
