I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
