Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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