My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
