I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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