life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize