She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
