So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
