Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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