people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize