problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
it's great music for shaving your balls
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
