i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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