He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Randomize
