I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
