but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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