I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
