Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm getting married
To pizza
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
