You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
