some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
