I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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