ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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