she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My day in three words: secret purse cake
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
