We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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