I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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