You're my little dorito
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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