You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You were trust falling into bushes
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
