I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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