Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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