is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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