Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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