my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
