im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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