"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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